Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will

(714): View more from California

and a girl gets the red ring of death every month

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(817): View more from Texas

just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.

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(631): View more from New York

She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.

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(206): View more from Washington

You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.

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