Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks

Fav 34 1296 3343
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(425): View more from Washington

Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.

Fav 112 1702 4644
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(303): View more from Colorado

Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.

Fav 36 7157 1385
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(512): View more from Texas

someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP

Fav 19 5674 3041
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(204): View more from Manitoba

this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.

Fav 9 1714 4673
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(765): View more from Indiana

Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic

Fav 4 775 1851
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?

Fav 3 465 745
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.

Fav 0 49 8
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