Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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