I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
