plz talk dirty to me
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
