Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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