I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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