Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
