I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
