His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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