i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
