just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
