Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize