just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
