Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
