Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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