what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
