i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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