well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Everything about him screamed your future.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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