..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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