Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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