You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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