It's like a parade of train wrecks.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
