Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
