I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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