whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
