ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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