I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
All the doctor said was why
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
