Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
