I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
