we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
