but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
