apparently the secret to your success is patron
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
