I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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