what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
