Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize