and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
