she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
