Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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