If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
