I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
