Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
