sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
