So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
