i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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