In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
