he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
