Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
