you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
