i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
