How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He better not be in your backpack
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
