Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
