So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
