I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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