He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize