Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
