I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
