No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
